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The Problem With Trying to Make “Them” Like “You”

It starts out with good intentions to celebrate diversity, ensure equity and practice inclusive leadership. You implement employee resource groups for historically underrepresented groups like LGBTs, start a mentoring program for women of color, and equip leaders to coach millennials on workplace norms and professionalism. But after a while you revisit your D&I metrics and…

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How I Learned To Love Black People: Confessions Of A Good White Person

I read the title of this piece and feel uneasy. I can already hear the voices of my confused friends, my protesting colleagues and the bigots.  I’m writing it anyway.  More honesty is what’s needed to heal and move forward, and honesty requires courage. On paper I look like a model “Good White Person.” I’ve…

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6 Reasons Why “All Lives Matter” Is Neither Fair Nor Helpful

One week: Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Dallas.  Finally, the number of White people moved to action against racism is reaching a tipping point, yet tired clichés like “violence isn’t the answer” and “we must unite” threaten to keep us stuck.  “All Lives Matter” is perhaps the kindest and least helpful of these clichés, to the…

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“Don’t Take This The Wrong Way” Is The Wrong Way to Provide Feedback

I’m guessing you’ve heard this phrase before. Either it came out of someone else’s mouth, or you said it: “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”  I’m also guessing you know what follows the “but”: an awkward cliché or unflattering feedback, perhaps even a downright insulting or blatantly bigoted or sexist statement. Common examples include: …

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The Orlando Shooting Shows All Fears Are Not Equal

I didn’t want to write about the Orlando shooting. I just moved my home and business across two states and I’m tired. I’m also tired of mass shootings and Congress doing nothing to prevent the next one. I’m tired of powerful people twisting facts and words to suit their interests, and millions of us going…

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