Tag Archives: effective communication

8 Tips for Other Women Trolled By Men

I’m a woman. I’m smart. I say what I think. Out loud. In public. I am, therefore, a target for trolls – especially angry, fearful men. I’m also not alone. Everywhere I look online, men seem to be trolling us more than women. In the four years I’ve been publishing pieces in the digital age, all but one of…

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Six Ideas Progressives Need to Get Clear in a Trump World

This didn’t feel like an election. I’ve voted in elections and weathered their results, for better or worse, for 28 years. This felt more like a relationship breakup, or the death of a loved one. I’ve also weathered those – the shock, betrayal, grief, anger and disorientation. The waves of shifting emotion punctuated by brief…

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Let’s Get it Right: Bigotry is Not Racism

The word “racist” is getting a lot of air time lately.  From Donald Trump to Black Lives Matter and the latest police shooting of an unarmed Black man, accusations of racism abound.  But there’s an important distinction missing from these accusations that’s keeping us stuck and stoking anger: bigotry is not racism. In my work…

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“Don’t Take This The Wrong Way” Is The Wrong Way to Provide Feedback

I’m guessing you’ve heard this phrase before. Either it came out of someone else’s mouth, or you said it: “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”  I’m also guessing you know what follows the “but”: an awkward cliché or unflattering feedback, perhaps even a downright insulting or blatantly bigoted or sexist statement. Common examples include: …

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Ever Been Accused of Being an Activist With an Agenda?

Being a change agent is hard. Being an organizational diversity and inclusion change agent can be extra hard because diversity and inclusiveness is often seen as a liberal agenda.  As a former D&I change agent inside an organization, many of whose seniors leaders were not only politically conservative but intellectually and organizationally conservative, I know…

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‘The 6 C’s’ to Showing Up as a White Ally

Trying to be a good white person can be frustrating, challenging and downright bewildering.  White people have few role models — outside bigots and hate groups — on how to talk about race, behave with people of color, or be a white ally and doing so in the workplace is extra daunting because of the fear of…

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What the Starbucks Cup Mini-Controversy is Really About

Once again, a minor provocation has set off the right wing: Starbucks’ choice of a plain red background for their holiday cups.  From an Arizona evangelist who says the un-Christmasy cups are a sign that Starbucks “hates Jesus” to Donald Trump calling for a boycott to dueling #MerryChristmasStarbucks and #ItsJustACup hashtags, it all seems like…

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Breaking Binaries: How to Partner Better with Allies

Last month, I wrote about why allyship is essential to advance the common good and creation of a world that works better for everyone. I described how allyship has been key to progress and social movements and how all of us can, and should be, allies to movements we (as “dominants”) don’t personally benefit from…

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Breaking Binaries: How to Be a Better Ally

In my last blog, I wrote about why allyship is essential to advance the common good and create a world that works better for everyone. I described how allyship has been key to progress and social movements, and how all of us can, and should be, allies to movements we as “dominants” don’t personally benefit from…

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Women, Stop Apologizing So Much

I notice it most when I’m traveling for business. Whether it’s navigating airport security, negotiating a crowd of wanderers, ordering food, squeezing into an airplane seat, accessing the overhead bin, or trying to pass a slow walker on the ramp when deboarding, women are constantly apologizing. I hear “sorry” in a female voice at least…

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