On November 6th, the day after Trump won the U.S. presidential election, I sent an e-newsletter to my subscribers. The subject header read “You’re not alone”, and it began:
“If your day was like mine, it sucked. Tomorrow will probably suck some more. And there will be lots of sucky, horrifying, terrifying, and soulwrenching days ahead. I don’t want to sugarcoat, spiritually bypass, or try to put glitter on sh*t. It’s gonna be extra hard now for lots of life forms in the coming weeks, months, and years.”
I then offered my trauma-informed stress management and coaching services as support in “navigating Big Feelings”. I normalized emotional and nervous system responses, saying “whatever you’re feeling or doing right now is OK.” I wrote “I’m with you. I’m here.”
Most who responded were similarly upset by our nation’s turn and grateful for my words. However, one person had a different reaction:
“It is with regret and sadness that I need to withdraw from [working with you]. The reason is this email you sent. I found it incredibly presumptuous and offensive that you would assume you know what my feelings are about the election outcome.
“For me, the necessary hallmarks of a coach are neutrality, absence of assumptions, and non- judgment. We also need to leave our own emotional preferences and baggage outside the door…. I leave my politics outside my professional life and coaching sessions, especially over this last contentious, volatile four years.”
This client isn’t alone. They aren’t the only person to detach from me — or other relationships — due to our increasingly vocal response to the Trump administration’s actions. I’m not alone either. I know several professionals who have also lost clients, followers, and revenue because they took a public stand in the last few months.
The question of what to share publicly, and when, is an important question that savvy business people regularly ask themselves. It’s a boundary that ethical professionals constantly wrestle with, and a line thoughtful people frequently consider.
But the bigger problem is that we take this boundary for granted. We don’t question whether a line should exist between personal beliefs and public speech. Few wonder whether “neutrality” is a noble goal, or whether it’s even possible. But the truth is professional neutrality is impossible, inhumane, and even dangerous.
Neutrality is impossible.
Humans cannot be neutral. We are a meaning-making species. Our brains are designed to identify patterns and make quick decisions based on those patterns. Our brains aren’t neutral, and neither are our bodies. Both orient towards navigating reality on this planet, with the goal of keeping us alive long enough to reproduce and/or contribute.
The idea that humans can and should be neutral is deeply disembodied. It denies the reality that humans inhabit physical bodies embedded in vast webs of life that co-evolved over 3.5 billion years. It promotes an illusion of separateness (from our bodies, other humans, other species, our ecosystems, this planet) that is false. This illusion cuts us off from deep knowing, mature adulthood, true relationships, healthy community, and Life itself.
The myth of neutrality denies reality and diminishes the vibrancy of our lives. Read the rest on Medium!
